Adulthood

Not surprisingly, 18 and 21 are often given as ages of adulthood because they are embedded in laws and signal the acquisition of significant legal rights and responsibilities, such as when one can vote, drink, marry, have consensual sex, serve in the military, or be prosecuted. However, many people construe what really constitutes an adult by age and maturity differently. For me the marker event that set the criteria for adulthood was when I joined the Marine Corps and left home right after high school but I did not consider this the stage of emerging adulthood.

I believe leaving my adolescents and moving to my next stage in life of cognitive development became the acquisition stage of a life long learner. As a life long learner, I am constantly going through this stage to learn new skills and bodies of knowledge regardless of its practical or social implications. I am constantly finding myself in the responsible stage of life looking out for those in my life, especially my family. Though I may not be in the legacy-leaving stage of adulthood I still am finding the need to explore my families’ history so my kids will have something to pass on.

I believe I am still trying to achieve my adult identity. Although I do not expect to become a millionaire, or leave millions to non-profit organizations, I do hope to leave this world making a mark on it with my own legacy. I identify my adulthood intimacy by my loved ones who I cherish very much, my wife, kids and grandkids. I believe I am still building my generativity with my vocation as a counselor. Adulthood “can be perceived by some as a frontier with open-ended possibilities and many high stakes choices.” Being an adult that is secure and positive with myself I have found it easy to get close to others and find balance in my life.
Balance for me meant serving my country right out of high school and joining the Marine Corps. At 19 years old, I was very immature and a five-year stint in the Marine Corps helped me to grow and develop life’s characteristics, such as strong work ethics, drive and a strong Es Spree De Corps. These values and ethics are seen in everything that I do today. In the Marine Corps, I served as an MP and loved everything that it stood for and would still be doing it but was honorably discharged for medical reasons. I fractured my right femur and had three reconstructive knee surgeries while I was in, making me 10% service connected for my injury. Returning to my hometown of Palisade, Colorado I struggled to find my way while starting a family. William T. Grant Foundation described the forgotten half and I think I feel within this group because at 19, I went into the Marine Corps and five years later did not know what I was going to do. I was in economic limbo trying to make it and now almost twenty years later am I really making it.

Having a family and intimacy is a valued part of my life, even though there have been struggles and turmoil’s. From my very loving and supporting wife Cheryle, of almost 18 years who has put up with all my idiosyncrasies and me, while raising two wonderful kids running a business and supporting me while I endeavored on my education. Our daughter Elizabeth who is now 24 years old and works for the post office, is married, lives on her own, while supporting our three granddaughters, Kenna who is 4, Addreanna who is 2 and Marrissa who just turned 1. Then there is our son Tristan, who is 18 and graduating from high school this year. He has worked so very hard to pave his way in life, wanting to go to college to pursue a degree in music education; he has won the scholarships to pay his own way. Both my wife’s family and my family live very close to us even though we interact at different levels.

Control over my life has been a strong issue to me. I feel that I have always had a positive self-efficacy belief especially when it comes to my ability to exercise control over events that affect my life. I do believe though that things happen for a reason and that if you put your all into what you want there will be positive outcomes. For me I believe I am just beginning my middle adulthood, trying to still develop a structure to my life, even though many of lives changes are starting to transition for me in my life now, such as launching my children. I look forward to having a strong and loving relationship with my wife through our middle adulthood all the way through late adulthood what ever brings us. For my wife and I we have played community roles giving back and making impacts. For me I once again served, as a Field Representative for US Congressman John T. Salazar this lead me to my current professional position as a Readjustment Counselor for the Veterans Administration. An area of control that I seem to not have under control is living well.

Though I am living a comfortable life, have a good income, surrounded by loved ones and all the qualities that I want from my quality of life, health is something that some of us might not have much control of. I already have major knee problems; suffer from Chrone’s Disease, high blood pressure and naturally being overweight. As I start my life through late adulthood, I expect that I will have to learn to live a much more active lifestyle. I hope to have control of my faculties and be able to be self sufficient enough not to be a burden on society or to my loved ones. As far as death and dying, I do know that it is a fact of life and it will happen but when it happens is another thing. I hope to have everything in place so my family does not have to worry about how to dispose of my body, where and how. But, to look at when, all I can say is that I hope to live a full life, a happy life, with all its joys and triumphs and I will leave the rest up to fait.