Adulthood

Not surprisingly, 18 and 21 are often given as ages of adulthood because they are embedded in laws and signal the acquisition of significant legal rights and responsibilities, such as when one can vote, drink, marry, have consensual sex, serve in the military, or be prosecuted. However, many people construe what really constitutes an adult by age and maturity differently. For me the marker event that set the criteria for adulthood was when I joined the Marine Corps and left home right after high school but I did not consider this the stage of emerging adulthood.

I believe leaving my adolescents and moving to my next stage in life of cognitive development became the acquisition stage of a life long learner. As a life long learner, I am constantly going through this stage to learn new skills and bodies of knowledge regardless of its practical or social implications. I am constantly finding myself in the responsible stage of life looking out for those in my life, especially my family. Though I may not be in the legacy-leaving stage of adulthood I still am finding the need to explore my families’ history so my kids will have something to pass on.

I believe I am still trying to achieve my adult identity. Although I do not expect to become a millionaire, or leave millions to non-profit organizations, I do hope to leave this world making a mark on it with my own legacy. I identify my adulthood intimacy by my loved ones who I cherish very much, my wife, kids and grandkids. I believe I am still building my generativity with my vocation as a counselor. Adulthood “can be perceived by some as a frontier with open-ended possibilities and many high stakes choices.” Being an adult that is secure and positive with myself I have found it easy to get close to others and find balance in my life.
Balance for me meant serving my country right out of high school and joining the Marine Corps. At 19 years old, I was very immature and a five-year stint in the Marine Corps helped me to grow and develop life’s characteristics, such as strong work ethics, drive and a strong Es Spree De Corps. These values and ethics are seen in everything that I do today. In the Marine Corps, I served as an MP and loved everything that it stood for and would still be doing it but was honorably discharged for medical reasons. I fractured my right femur and had three reconstructive knee surgeries while I was in, making me 10% service connected for my injury. Returning to my hometown of Palisade, Colorado I struggled to find my way while starting a family. William T. Grant Foundation described the forgotten half and I think I feel within this group because at 19, I went into the Marine Corps and five years later did not know what I was going to do. I was in economic limbo trying to make it and now almost twenty years later am I really making it.

Having a family and intimacy is a valued part of my life, even though there have been struggles and turmoil’s. From my very loving and supporting wife Cheryle, of almost 18 years who has put up with all my idiosyncrasies and me, while raising two wonderful kids running a business and supporting me while I endeavored on my education. Our daughter Elizabeth who is now 24 years old and works for the post office, is married, lives on her own, while supporting our three granddaughters, Kenna who is 4, Addreanna who is 2 and Marrissa who just turned 1. Then there is our son Tristan, who is 18 and graduating from high school this year. He has worked so very hard to pave his way in life, wanting to go to college to pursue a degree in music education; he has won the scholarships to pay his own way. Both my wife’s family and my family live very close to us even though we interact at different levels.

Control over my life has been a strong issue to me. I feel that I have always had a positive self-efficacy belief especially when it comes to my ability to exercise control over events that affect my life. I do believe though that things happen for a reason and that if you put your all into what you want there will be positive outcomes. For me I believe I am just beginning my middle adulthood, trying to still develop a structure to my life, even though many of lives changes are starting to transition for me in my life now, such as launching my children. I look forward to having a strong and loving relationship with my wife through our middle adulthood all the way through late adulthood what ever brings us. For my wife and I we have played community roles giving back and making impacts. For me I once again served, as a Field Representative for US Congressman John T. Salazar this lead me to my current professional position as a Readjustment Counselor for the Veterans Administration. An area of control that I seem to not have under control is living well.

Though I am living a comfortable life, have a good income, surrounded by loved ones and all the qualities that I want from my quality of life, health is something that some of us might not have much control of. I already have major knee problems; suffer from Chrone’s Disease, high blood pressure and naturally being overweight. As I start my life through late adulthood, I expect that I will have to learn to live a much more active lifestyle. I hope to have control of my faculties and be able to be self sufficient enough not to be a burden on society or to my loved ones. As far as death and dying, I do know that it is a fact of life and it will happen but when it happens is another thing. I hope to have everything in place so my family does not have to worry about how to dispose of my body, where and how. But, to look at when, all I can say is that I hope to live a full life, a happy life, with all its joys and triumphs and I will leave the rest up to fait.

Me from 12 to 18

Being an adolescent can be a really trying time, as it leads into ones’ future as an adult. I do not think I was too bad of a kid, and I really do not think I was much different from many of my peers. Even though I do not remember much of my early childhood, I do especially remember the years from twelve-years-old to eighteen-years-old. This time, for me, was a time of growth, exploration, and finding myself. I had many good times, some bad times, and lots of life-long memories from it all.

My beginning high school years were trying ones for me. Palisade High School, where I attended, was a 7th through 12th grade school, and had only about 300 kids in all. This was a problem for me since I tended to be somewhat of a class clown, and quite a smarty-pants. The older and bigger kids in the upper grades constantly picked me on. This behavior also created havoc with my teachers and the administrators, though I never did get suspended. These were the years of great change and I was no different than any other teens.

I still remember going home for the summer, between my eighth and ninth grades, and coming back one of the tallest in my class. Yes, puberty hit me, not only with the tall stick, but also with a voice that only a mother could love. I had a voice that was sometimes high and whiney and at other times crackly and broken. Going through those changes, which most all teens go through, was such a confusing time in my life. I was trying to find myself, find my niche, and just generally wanted to get by without everyone bothering me.

I really liked high school even though I was not the strongest student academically. I seemed to struggle with reading and writing, but really excelled in the math and sciences, and of course the arts. I vividly remember my mother trying to pound my English homework down my throat, and no matter how much she helped me I still never got it. I always hated her doing that to me, but now I realize that she was just doing what was best for me and trying to help me. I constantly questioned controls and variables – using formal operational reasoning, and for that reason, I really enjoyed school functions like the science club. We would get together and study the stars, learn about chemistry, and go on fun trips, like to Lake Powell. On the other hand, I had a natural ability when it came to the arts, especially with music. I played the brass instruments all the way through high school, and my primary instrument was the baritone. I really excelled with my music and loved it even though I could not read the music; it was all raw talent.

Throughout high school, I really did not find myself belonging to just one peer network. I enjoyed sports. I participated in soccer during the summer months for years, along with little league baseball. I also ran cross-country, track, wrestled, and played basketball. Most of the sports I did just for fun and never really seemed to excel to the point of making it my life’s endeavor. So much of my time I hung out with the jocks, and what I would call the brains, but since I was a band geek, I also got along with the druggies. Though I really did not have just one girlfriend throughout high school, most of my friends were girls. Many of my different involvements helped me to seek out my identity achievement.

Though I took a compilation of classes that would prepare me for higher education, my heart was set on the military. I still remember the summer of my junior year. The Marine Corps recruiter and I went to my mom’s work so I could sign the papers for delayed enlistment. She was so devastated; she could not believe that was what I wanted to do, versus going to school. Nevertheless, my explorations told me that I wanted a career in the Marine Corps, and just before my 18th birthday, I joined the Marine Corps. I was on the delayed enlistment throughout my senior year of high school. I would get together with the Marines on the weekends and do PT and go for runs; I knew this was what I wanted to do with my life.

Throughout school, my parents played a pretty strong role in my life and they were very accepting of my wishes. They were always there for me, supporting my every endeavor, making it to all my soccer games, helping me with my homework, and putting up with my never-ending playing of my instruments for the band. However, this did not preclude them from being strict and almost authoritative in their discipline towards my brother and me. Nevertheless, it did not hurt me too badly, teaching me good morals, values, and work ethics while growing up. I still remember that my parents never gave my bother or me anything, but they made us work for what we wanted. An example of this was going to CU band camp; for a week, I worked to earn most of the money, and they helped at the end when I needed financial assistance. This sure helped me to value the things that I wanted that much more, having to work for them.
I did hold a job most of the time throughout high school. I worked in the peach orchards picking and in the packing sheds. In the evenings and on the weekends, I worked at the local convenience store called 5-B Super Stop, stocking shelves and cleaning up. This work gave me the money to do what I wanted throughout high school, to include having a car, a 1976 Ford LTD Station wagon. That was a big car that got my friends and me everywhere we needed to go, like to the drive-in, exploring in the desert, and just having good times.

Growing up, I did tend to have a few risky behaviors that sure did influence my life. The drinking age growing up was 18, and I was able to drink throughout my senior year of high school. On Friday nights, we would get together, go out to the 3.2 bars, and have drinks. Unfortunately, I did pick up the bad habit of smoking while I was in high school. Both of my parents smoked cigarettes, and it was a little more acceptable back in the 80’s. I really did not like drugs and did not do them, even though many of my friends that I hung around with did. I did not let my peers dictate my life for me; I was a leader, not the follower. I did not let my peers role model deviancy or collective egocentrism, nor did I let them guide my path. I did not consider myself a deviant, even though I liked having a good time. I still remember the first time I got drunk; I was a freshman in high school, on Halloween. I went out with my friends and an hour later came home smashed; I was throwing up, and my parents were so pissed.

My younger years were definitely an influence on my later adulthood. Not only did I smoke for almost 20 years of my life, but I was also a heavy drinker, or should I just say an alcoholic. But I also learned lots of things, prepared myself for a successful livelihood and life, and provided myself with great morals and values to share with my family.

My Life Until 12

Discussing my childhood can be a little difficult for me. I do not really remember much of my childhood, especially before my fifth grade year, making me about the age of ten. I really do not think I experienced any traumatic issues that have made me forget my life, just a lack of memory. I do know that I had a happy childhood, a good life, and have worked hard to get where I am today.

Being born on July 17, 1966 makes me a “Cancer,” and that could explain a lot of whom I really am. I was born back east in a Catholic Hospital in the Bronx, New York, what is known as Fort Apache. I hail from an ethnic background consisting of Columbian, Indian, Polish, and Puerto Rican ancestry. My family, colorful as they can be, consisted of one sibling, two parents (a mother and stepfather,) and me. My stepfather, who was the only father that I ever knew, was very mechanically inclined. He worked jobs such as a heavy machine mechanic and as a machinist. My mother primarily was the caregiver to two kids as well as holding down a full-time job as a secretary. One of the jobs she worked was being the secretary to the police chief of Grand Junction, where I grew up. My parents taught me that working hard does pay off, and they sure did work hard. We lived in a modest home close to my high school, which was convenient. Our home had plenty of room for four people to stretch even though it only had one bathroom.

My stepfather was not very educated; he never graduated from high school but he did receive his GED. He never went to college except for trade schools both for diesel mechanic and fine machine trades. Even though he had limited education, he was very book smart and had many different interests, especially when it came to working with his hands. This could be one of the reasons why I too am so interested in working with my hands and am so mechanically inclined. My mother on the other hand, worked and took care of the family until we left the home, and then she proceeded to pursue her bachelors in science in counseling from Mesa State College. She was a very nurturing person, making sure that we had everything that we needed growing up, and put my brothers’ needs and mine first.

As a family, we moved from back east, to Colorado, in the summer of 1977. Just imagine a family of four making the trek across the country with a 16-foot U-haul, and a station wagon, and a pop-up tent trailer. My brother and I were very young, only in fifth grade and third grade, and of course, I was the elder of the two. It was a summer of exploration, getting to travel across the country and back, and getting to see everything in-between; every experience was new. Moving to Colorado was an adventure. Every time we turned, there was a lot to see, do, and experience.
My family was not overly wealthy, but did pretty well. In fact, my mother still lives in the house that I grew up in, in Palisade, Colorado. My brother who is 22 months younger than me was not as studious as I was and he did not participate in any athletics, as I did. My brother also learned to value a hard days work for a days pay and works a job reproducing doors and windows and does some installations. My mother was an immigrant from Columbia, South America, and talks about her life growing up with the nuns when she came to New York. It was my mother’s job in New Jersey that brought us out to Colorado to start our new lives.

Growing up in Colorado was a hard change; there were no friends, new schools, and very different obstacles to deal with. Religion was always important in our family. My mother brought my brother and me up Catholic, but my stepfather was an atheist. Though we were not forced to attend church, my family was, in my opinion, religious. My family had very strong morals and beliefs. In my opinion, my parents used the authoritative parenting style because they were supportive, but were also very demanding. I had simple chores growing up, and I had to work for everything that I wanted; nothing was handed to me. My parents required hard work and good grades in school, and of course, good behavior and manners. I think this helped my social well being during my childhood.

Interviewing my mother really opened my eyes to some things in my childhood. She stated that the first five years of my life were very difficult. She was very young, barely 18 years old, and did not know anything about raising a child. She said that at three-months-old, my paternal aunt took care of me until I was eleven months old, because my mother had to work to take care of us. Being married to my biological father, she moved us to California, and lived on Beal Air Force base; this is where my brother was born. At the age of three, my mother moved us to New York, and this is when my parents separated. Even though he never wanted anything to do with our family, or me, I did grow up not hearing anything bad about him. Living in New York, my mother hired a lady who had similar styles of discipline as hers, and she took care of us until my stepfather came into the picture. The only father I ever knew did not come into the picture until I was about five years old. My mother said, as a young child, that we used to have a cat named Boots who used to ride on the dog’s back. My bother and I had a playroom, of all playrooms, which included a stove and a refrigerator. My mother used to tape up cereal boxes to use as toys and fill the kitchen with pots and pans. The one toy I always have remembered was the giant size Lincoln Logs that you put together; it was like having your own playhouse.

Looking back at my childhood through my twelfth year was not easy. I did find talking to my mother about our past very interesting and even a little enlightening. Everything that influenced me, as a child, has helped me to be the person who I am today. My parents have provided me with the tools to be a self-sufficient, reliable adult. Their morals have provided me with strong traits of being dependable, honest, and a hard worker.

About George Delahanty

I thought I would start off by telling about myself. To summarize who I am is actually quite difficult to do. To do this, I must begin by telling a little about myself first and this has to begin with my birth on July 17, 1966, in the Bronx, New York, as a Hispanic male. I was born to a young mother of 17 from Columbia, South America, and a military father from Puerto Rico. My mother divorced and remarried. This diversity in itself has been good for me and I have gladly taken my stepfather’s name. When I was 12, we endeavored to move to the Grand Valley and started a fresh new life out West. I prospered and grew up attending and graduating from the Palisade area schools in 1985. During my years of schooling, I dreamed of a career in the United States Marine Corps (USMC). Upon graduating I acted upon these aspirations and spent five years in the USMC as a Military Policeman. In 1990, I was honorably discharged with a disability to my right knee which I incurred during my years with the USMC. I returned to the Grand Valley and pursued steady work using the skills learned in the USMC, including working private security, hotel security, and retail security. My final security position for a subcontractor to the Department of Energy (DOE) led to advancements and nine years of work as the Training Administrator and Web Page Designer for the DOE, before I was laid off in 2000. Shortly upon returning to my home while pursing steady work I started a family, of two children, Elizabeth and Tristan. My wife of more than 17 wonderful years also attended Mesa State College and is the owner proprietor of Trade Winds Styling Salon. My many diverse experiences have taught me that I must be a hardworking, caring, understanding individual. I must be a role model, a good listener, dedicated and show strength and courage, but that is only the beginning, that is not where it ends.